I lost my mum at the age of sixteen, and even though I was the last of nine siblings, I still felt lost and lonely. So, I crawled into a shell and there I met with masturbation. Gradually, I fell deep into it to the point that I could masturbate five times a week. This continued for years and well into my adulthood, even when I had received Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour. I became very convinced that I had to go for a special kind of deliverance to be free from the addiction of masturbation. This I did but it was like the devil was out for me.
As a young adult, I was a virgin in the sense that I had not slept with a man, but I was deep in this addiction; it was like part of my every day meal. The guilt I felt after every act was eating me up and I did not like living that way. So, once in a while I would go on dry fasting, denying myself of happiness, thinking it was by what I do and by my own righteousness that my deliverance will come; but as I was breaking my food fast I was also breaking the masturbation fast. I could not accept the Holy Ghost at that time because I felt I was not worthy, and the kind of message I heard then was enough judgment for me.
Thank God for The Carpenter’s Church, and for my sister who brought me here. It took me a year to start the Believers’ Classes because the messages from the pulpit by Pastor Charles and Pastor Nkechi where too good to be true for me. I was locked up in my religious mind but God delivered me through His undiluted Word preached here, crushing down every stronghold in my mind. My mind got renewed gradually; though I would still fall into it but I stopped wallowing in guilt instead I would pray for forgiveness and most importantly, accept God’s forgiveness.
Thank God it is over four years and I am free from masturbation. The best part of it is that it is not even a temptation to me any longer. There is God in TCC and He is working wonders in our minds, body, and in the totality of our beings.