281 Comments on "Sistaz & Suitors"
When does the meeting hold and where? If I want to attend from Lagos how can I locate you?
I want to say a very big THANK YOU to Pastor Tayo for yesterday’s teaching. It was quite interactive as always. And to you Pastor Dupe, for taking out the time to explain 1Cor 7:36 in depth to me. A lot of people have and are going astray because of their twisted understanding of this scripture. THANK YOU Pastor.
I’m blessed by this candid advice. Thanks so very much panel (men of God). God will continue to uphold this ministry and it shall be a blessing to many souls. GOD BLESS YOU IN JESUS NAME.
I have a friend who studies abroad, I want to get married to her in one of her holidays here in Nigeria then she goes back to finish the studies. How do I go about marriage counseling in the case?
Dear Mr. Anonymous, your desire to get marriage counsel before getting into a marriage relationship is the right thing. We recommend that you talk with your pastor and get directions on how your local church does that. If you are a member of The Carpenter's Church, we recommend that you schedule an appointment to speak with any of the Pastors and you will be guided accordingly. We cannot give you a detailed guidance here because different local churches have different guidelines concerning the conduct of relationships.
a none member of the church to propose, do i prospose before informing pastor or pastor before proposing ?
For the answer to this question, please check the TCC handbook at this link where you will find all the information you need. Also bearing in mind what your own church teaches and practices concerning relationships. Thank you.
The book of 1 Cor 7:10-11 says that “The married should not depart from his/her spouse and if he/she departs, must remain unmarried”. Does that mean that if I find my wife to be unfaithful (catch her red-handed) or she becomes unbearable to live with and I divorce her, can I re-marry another or is death the only reason I have to re-marry?
Is it proper to date someone before proposing or accepting a marriage proposal. Is it possible for me to fall in love and approach a sister who I have been observing and admiring in The Carpenter’s Church without first having a “formal relationship” with her e.g. getting to know her name, where she comes from, her family, what she likes and hates, just to see if we can be compatible. I am quite sure such a sister will not just accept such a proposal coming from a total “stranger” even if the brother says he’s a member of the church.
What is the place of physical attraction in the choice of a life partner? Could God lead me to someone I am not attracted to physically?
Must persons (believers) in courtship not exchange visits?
If one is dating a christian sister from another church. and they intend to get married in that other church, where would they be counselled? and if courtship period is 3 months in that other church while in TCC its 6 months, how many months will they court before getting married?
For the answer to this question, please check the TCC handbook at this link where you will find all the information you need. Thank you.
HEY Panel, I have a lady(born again) and we both love each other so much that i was ready to marry her but she said she can’t marry me until ma mum isn’t around(dead) before she can marry me. I asked her the reason why? and she said bcoz she does’t want to have a mother-in-law around. But we both love each other so much. WHAT DO I DO?
Question 1 from Audience to The Panel on Sistaz And Suitors – 27/09/09
I am born again. My family and friends are on my neck to marry. I am waiting on God but the pressure from them is so much match making. But they feel that I am not serious. I want a man that fears God. What do I do? I was even brought here by family (which I am grateful for, on this occasion).
Question 2 from Audience to The Panel on Sistaz And Suitors – 27/09/09This man told me he is born gain but has an addiction with cigarette
smoking. My question is this: is he really born again? Should I accept
him and help him quit smoking?
Question 3 from Audience to The Panel on Sistaz And Suitors – 27/09/09
While treating the topic of worship and praise, I was made to understand that while worshiping I can prostrate in honor to God, but in some traditions as a male, you need to prostrate for the girlâ€™s parents. Is it right?
There is nothing wrong with it. There are some traditions that require
that you do some form of obeisance some of them require that you bow
and prostrate. What is important is the spirit and attitude with which
it is done. You are not prostrating to girlâ€™s parents as an act of
worship. You are not worshipping them. You are simply respecting them
in a language they understand and they require. That is not to say
however, that if you are required to carry out certain cultural
obligations or expectations that are adverse to the Word, you are meant
to do so.
Question 4 from Audience to The Panel on Sistaz And Suitors – 27/09/09Can two believers who have AS & AS as genotypes stand in faith and get married against what family members think about it?
Question 5 from Audience to The Panel on Sistaz And Suitors – 27/09/09
I am believing God for a husband but my mother wants me to marry from our tribe (Ikwerre). My elder sister has done their will and got married to an Ikwerre man. The man asking for my hand in marriage is from Delta and my mother rejected him. What do I do?N/B-He is a
believer. Is my mother the barrier or am I the barrier?
Question 6 from Audience to The Panel on Sistaz And Suitors – 27/09/09
I have witnessed several cases of marital problems where sex was the major cause. I want to ask: are there ways these sex related problems can be identified and addressed during courtship? In a case where both parties are not virgins, are they free to discuss their sexual experiences and fantasies?
Dear Panel, Please respond to the below question, i have gone through the TCC handbook and the question is not answered satisfactorily. Please i need your input on this. Thanks.
If one is dating a christian sister from another church. and they intend to get married in that other church, where would they be counseled? and if courtship period is 3 months in that other church while in TCC its 6 months, how many months will they court before getting married?
Thank you for the observation. We will go through the Handbook and ensure that it is clarified.
In response to your question, TCC expects that as long as one of the couple (brother or sister) is a member of TCC, the courtship should be a minimum of six months whether the wedding is in TCC or not. The couple should follow the right steps to inform the church immediately - if in further doubt, there is always a Pastor available to help.
A guy played American lottery for a girl and she won, he processed her paper and she left but came back after 2 years to marry him and went back to USA. After another 2 years, the lady said she is not coming back to Nigeria again and the guy said he is not going to America. Both of them have agreed to divorce as the marriage is not working. My question is: Is it ok for them to divorce? and can they re-marry to other persons after their divorce?
Divorce cases are best treated on case by case basis. We would prefer to deal with such situations when we have full disclosure. Thank you.
How do we manage loneliness?
I care about a guy who doesnt know about my feelings and he’s got wat I’ve always desired yet there’s another guy who is coming around wit the intention of marrying me. I dont have any affection for him. please, wat do I do because I’ve been taught from church not to approach a guy.
how does one balance job haunting and church activities i really want to be active in church activities but trying to earn a living without a job is taking a lot out of me. thanks
Hmmmm!!! thanks a million for your prompt response to my question. Its like a mighty rock has been lifted up off my shoulders. God bless you richly. Deliverance tastes really good you know!
I WANT TO THANK THE PANEL FOR THEIR EFFORT IN PROVIDING INTERESTING ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS, I PRAY GOD TO GIVE YOU MORE WISDOM TO ENABLE YOU CARRYOUT THIS WORK.
i have a problem. i am not a graduate yet but i am intending to be one. everyman that comes my way with intention of marriage insist that i must be a graduate before making any plans. up to six serious guys have come and gone. please what do i do?
Someone new just came in to my life but i have fears at the back of my mind. saw blue movies and slight traces of violence like raisin his voice for no obvious reason. he claims to have been born again and grew up in a good Christian home but anytime we spend time together, i feel alone..i dont know what to do..am not a member of ur church..this forum was suggested to me by a good friend and colleague
please i had previously sent in a question..i am so concerned about walking with God. God specifically gave me a scripture as regards my husband. please i dont want my full name published. how do i know how to align my self with specific direction?
dear panel, I am in a relationship with a girl and we both agreed for marriage but she said I should not go to see her family that all she knows is that I should go and see her pastor. In this case what should I do?
Thank u so much for answering my question. i receive favour to comply to what you have said. God bless you all and enrich you with more wisdom and inspiration. thank u so much!!!!!
I wanna ask if there’s something i’m doing wrong.i get more advances from married men than from single brothers and its so annoying.most single guys that can come around just want to jump into bed. i’ve been a believer for a while and always believed in God’s principle on courtship, but with all this i’m getting scared.i need advice.
I believe every good thing comes from God and we need to walk in His Act and statute to be properly guided within His spirit that dwell in us. Is there any scriptural backing to start up a relationship with a girl? Also, what are the scriptural backing when you are attracted to a girl you have not known before and you intend getting close to her? What are the scriptural backing of choosing a wife?
Pastor pls I want to know how I can be convinced if a lady really loves me and if she will be ready to settle down with me considering the fact that I am a christian and intimacy is not allowed and secondly the bible made it clear that the heart is wicked. I need answer urgently. What is the characteristic of a wife material?
TCC, i like your blog and the answers you gave to the so many questions raised. keep up the good work.
Thank you Oshuntayo. Our goal is to be relevant & practical and we trust that by God’s grace we will continue to be just that.
when do you notify church of your relationship. especially when you’ve just started dating?
The answer to your question can be found in the Church Handbook. The handbook can be viewed by simply clicking this link: TCC Handbook.
Your question here will require a very detailed response and so I would suggest that you see one of the Assistant Pastors promptly if you are a member of TCC. If not, we would gladly send a detailed reply to your email box.
Kindly confirm which option would suit you best. Thank you.
I WANT TO KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ONE TO GET MARRIED WITHOUT HAVING PREMARITAL SEX? BY NEXT YEAR I WILL BE 30 AND I AM STILL A VIRGIN, I INTEND TO REMAIN A VIRGIN TILL I GET MARRIED BUT I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO FIND A GUY WHO WANT TO HAVE A PURE RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT SEX . THIS HAS KEPT ME IN A CLOSE DOOR. IS THERE TRULY A MAN OUT THERE WHO WOULD WANT TO GET MARRIED TO A VIRGIN?
sistaz and suitors i think is a tool that will enable us position ourselves for God’s best but i will suggest that, the time should be extended so that more questions and answers will be accommodated.
Thank you for appreciating what God is doing at Sistaz & Suitors. Your suggestion will be passed onto the appropriate quarters. We will continue to trust God though that, with or without the extension of time, by His Spirit we will continue to maximise the time we have together and we will always leave the meeting better than we came in.
Pastors, Pls i want to ask a question, Am in a clean relationship with this guy, but before i knew him he had 2 sons but did not get married 2 d mother of his kids now the lady has walked out on both her kids and their dad. This guy is asking for my hand in marriage and i want 2 consent becos i know i truly love him and he loves me too. i sincerely need ur advice pastors.
I`m presently in Benin and I miss TCC so much, I would like you to recommend a church here where I can worship, while I believe God for a job in Port Harcourt. Though I`m not regular in church anymore, can I still join a department since I normally come to town once a month? Thanks Ken
I am so happy for a program like sistaz and suitors that God is using to reach out to his people at a time such as this when the whole system is after ungodly things. I pray that God continually bless the panel and give them more insights to answer the questions that are being asked. This is good stuff and as I keep reading through this I'm getting inspiration and direction for my life.
God bless you.
THANK GOD ITS HERE AT LAST, AN AVENUE FOR SINGLES THAT ARE WHOLE IN CHRIST TO EXPRESS THEIR CHALLENGES IN A WORLD WHERE SINGLE HOOD IS VIEWED AS UNBECOMING.
I have two suitors. The two are born again but one of them is more committed to church activities, the other one is not(but pays his tithe regulary and sow seeds) his excuses are the nature of this job.and always tell me he wants to get married to me. but financially things are not ok yet.and am in love with him.but the one that is committed to church activities has not said anything about marriage but keeps telling me how much he cares about me.what do i do becos I am a bit confuse.
I will like to know the procedure in getting the pastorate informed of being engaged with a male member of another church? Thanks.
I am born gay, i love God, but i still commit the act of homosexuality. what should i do?
my question is, being in PortHarcourt for some time now, I have come to understand one thing that makes me to wander if really believers follow the foot steps of Jesus Christ. as christian is it good to base your mind on “religious, language and culture?
Ruyadan, sorry, your question is not clear.